Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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