sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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