how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
there's paper in my vomit.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
