Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
