Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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