We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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