sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
