I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
