when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We have started to decorate penises.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
