Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
