And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
