Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
