K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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