No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
