How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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