Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
