I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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