she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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