so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize