i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
