..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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