I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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