Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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