Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
