You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
