I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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