My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
