Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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