Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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