She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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