just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
