Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The best revenge is premature balding
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
