I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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