Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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