i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.