a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.