my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
