He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?