Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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