Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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