I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
