hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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