I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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