You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
