Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
