getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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