I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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