Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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