I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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