Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
