Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
