He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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