Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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