i think my mom watched the whole time
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize