dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
