i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
