btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
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I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize