the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can I color on your dick again?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
