she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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