how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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