Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
